The Lady Doth Protest Too Much

Just before we moved I’d still got two episodes of the latest Game of Thrones season to watch. I still do. Some Virgin broadband installers are late, lazy and incompetent. But we’re finally in the new home (the title’s a clue), boxes are unpacked and more importantly we now have the internet too as some other Virgin broadband installers are actually very good at their jobs. So, much like the 2 hour binge watch I’m about to do, let me catch you up.

Moving once a baby has joined the family has always perplexed me. Why wouldn’t people move before having a baby? As a family that has now done exactly that I cannot answer this question apart from to say people are stupid and they don’t think about their future all too often. Moving changes a baby’s whole world and believe me they generally don’t take it well at first.

The first night in our new home was quite a challenge. After a full day spent building furniture, opening boxes trying to find the stuff we needed, not finding those things, opening more boxes (repeat), we got Millie back from the grandparents and it was time for her to go to bed.”I don’t think so” Millie would have said if she could. The new nursery room we’d chosen was not as dark as Millie had gotten used to at her grandparents and for reasons tiredness just couldn’t compete with, she wouldn’t sleep. In the end two zombified parents unboxed a grow blind and a towel, stuck them up with a mixture of spit and gaffer tape and she finally slept. The blind and the towel are still there, a reminder that we need to do some refurbishment. Bets open on how long you think they’ll remain.

Moving house is not the only thing that has frustrated Millie, transforming her from a cute little mogwai into a tiny destructive gremlin. Her own movements are currently having the same effect. Much like Kanye West moving on from Late Registration she’s graduated from rolling over, longing to Touch The Sky ,to being much Stronger, wanting to crawl. She’s not quite there though. She either performs the caterpillar like she’s a break dancer from 1985 and moves backwards or she pulls herself forward slowly without moving her legs like an extra from Saving Private Ryan. Both are hilarious but both produce a frustrated, angry Monster as she tries to get to toys around the living room.

She’s also just got her first tooth which adds to all the disruption. Just when I thought she was dropping feeds, sleeping through and things were going to be carefree and easy from here on in, it’s all reversed. Let’s face it, I’m a naive idiot. I have a 7 month old growing girl and that means things constantly change. She’s moving more so she’s hungry again, eating hurts so the things she eats and her appetite change all the time.

It’s all great to be around for though, especially in our new family home that actually has a garden that I can BBQ in, grow veg in, mow, but most of all play with my daughter.



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